Ever hear of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra? Better yet—ever seen them live? Even if the name doesn’t ring sleigh bells in your head, you’ve definitely heard them blasting out of a mall speaker somewhere around December 15th.

There’s simply nothing like a TSO Christmas show. Fans have bought more than ten million concert tickets, as well as another ten million albums. Billboard ranks them among the top twenty-five ticket-selling bands of the 21st century—which is impressive for a group that performs seasonal music and doesn’t exactly tour in July. Beyond all that fame, TSO has donated over $20 million to charities since they first cranked up the amps.

They began as the brainchild of Jon Oliva and the late Paul O’Neill—yes, the same Paul O’Neill who produced Aerosmith, Humble Pie, and Savatage. (Let’s be honest—you probably haven’t listened to Savatage unless you’re heavily tattooed or you’ve owned a leather vest since the 1980s but got too big for it.) O’Neill brought in Al Pitrelli and Robert Kinkel, and eventually the project turned into something between a rock opera and a Christmas miracle. Imagine Handel’s Messiah meeting Metallica in a dark alley and deciding to raise a baby together.

Lights, lasers, flying guitars, pianos, violins, fifty-foot flames, and more hair extensions than a glam-metal reunion tour—and somehow it all works. You get everything in one night: hard rock riffs, opera, orchestral sweeps, even a children’s choir singing “Christmas Canon.” At one point Michael Crawford (yes, the Phantom of the Opera himself) shows up like he wandered in from Broadway and refused to leave until someone handed him a microphone. I swear the man floats onto the stage riding waves of fog machine exhaust. Imagine the tuxedoed Crawford standing next to a long-haired guitarist shredding like his life depends on it.

TSO’s rise was unusual too. They’re the first major rock act to go straight to arenas without ever playing a club or opening for anyone. They basically said, “We’ll just start big,” and somehow pulled it off.

I caught them about fifteen years ago in Rosemont, Illinois, and I can honestly say it was the most spectacular concert I’d ever seen—at least until the Eagles recently melted my brain at the Las Vegas Sphere. I hadn’t heard of TSO back then and only went because my sister arranged a group outing. I didn’t go expecting a religious experience, I expected a see an orchestra playing classical music while wearing goofy Santa hats. But when they blazed into “O Holy Night,” my favorite Christmas song, halfway through the show, I was hooked. Surely only the gods of rock tune those guitars. I realized something: I actually felt Christmas again, and at that moment in my life, I really needed a spark.

My wife and I liked that show so much we went back the following year with our four kids. You should have seen the look in their eyes when we told them where we were going. Ever witness four sets of eyeballs roll simultaneously? I didn’t even know eyeballs could synchronize. I’m considering entering them in the Olympics as a team sport.

Now, it should be pointed out our kids grew up with very questionable tastes in music. Other than suffering through my stereo at ear-blistering volume, they shunned the greatest music ever recorded in favor of the musical landfill their peers adored—rap, hip-hop, pop. (Yes, I’m biased. Yes, their music is crap. No, I won’t apologize.)

So I had no idea what to expect when they heard a real rock opera, probably the first they’d ever attended. I don’t remember much these days, but I do remember watching my kids experience TSO. They were enchanted by the production. They seemed to enjoy it almost as much as I did. Somewhere deep inside, I felt my parental stock value go up half a point.

For the next few years, every Christmas Eve we’d watch the TSO movie/musical The Ghosts of Christmas Eve. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend it – you can catch it on YouTube. Warning: you may suddenly start believing in Christmas magic, or at least in violins that shoot sparks. The story follows a runaway child who breaks into an abandoned vaudeville theater on Christmas Eve. Some notable faces include Ossie Davis, Jewel, and the aforementioned Michael Crawford.

Maybe a rock opera isn’t your cup of tea. Maybe you prefer the same questionable musical choices my kids still listen to. But even they admit TSO has become synonymous with Christmas and worth listening to this time of year. And if you still don’t like TSO after all this, well, always “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” played ad nauseam during the season.

By the way, if you’re out shopping this December and hear electric guitars shredding the Hallelujah Chorus, you can safely assume one thing: Trans-Siberian Orchestra has once again saved Christmas and possibly melted a few snowmen along the way.

Merry Christmas, folks. Rock on!