Christmas Day, December 25th — the one date Christians chose that Jesus almost certainly wasn’t born on. If the holiday is supposed to celebrate His birthday, we definitely missed the target. Not by hours. By months. Biblical scholars can’t even agree on whether it was April or August. The Bible doesn’t say, and honestly, it doesn’t seem to care.

Yet here we are, three days before Christmas, and millions, maybe billions, of people are gearing up to celebrate the birth of a man who owned absolutely nothing, preached generosity, and told the wealthy to give their possessions away. And we celebrate Him by… buying more possessions. Lots of them. Wrapped in glittery paper from Wal Mart’s seasonal aisle.

It’s the kind of contradiction only religion and retail can pull off.

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