A strong case could be made that I’m entirely too materialistic. I’m a sucker for anything that says Green Bay Packers on it, or the next great golf gadget that promises to let me hit the ball farther than my wife.

Retailers and service companies may finally cure me of my materialistic ways because they’re making it increasingly difficult to actually purchase something in less than an hour. At nearly seventy years old, I don’t want to waste an hour of my precious time making sure my buying experience sucks. It’s the same reason I don’t argue politics on Facebook anymore. As the old saying goes, never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

Let’s start with restaurants.

When walking through the doors, the first thing you usually encounter is a young hostess whose primary responsibility appears to be preventing you from entering the restaurant. She sweetly informs you there will be an hour wait.

Over her shoulder, you can see a near-empty dining room.

Ten minutes later they call your name, followed by another ten minutes while two hostesses determine where you should sit. Apparently, seating four people in a restaurant now requires a committee.

I recently got fitted for yet another set of golf clubs. The young man spent nearly three hours convincing me I needed a particular driver and finding one that best matched my pathetic swing. I forked over enough money to equal the GDP of a small country and was told the driver would be ready in a couple of days.

Two-and-a-half weeks later, I still don’t have the clubs, and nobody is answering my phone messages or emails.

Then there are subscriptions.

Today, everything you buy comes with one. Televisions, computers, cars, newspapers, airlines, phone apps. The list is as long as the freight train you encounter when you’re already late.

It’s no longer the product retailers really want to sell you. They want that monthly charge on your credit card, preferably one that remains there until three years after you die.

And God help you if you have a question.

Customer service today usually consists of a chatbot that can’t comprehend your question, refuses to answer the question you actually asked, or directs you to a thousand-page explanation where the answer is supposedly hidden.

Companies have made it damn near impossible to talk to an actual human being.

And woe betide your backside if you call and attempt to navigate their phone system. That will slice another hour out of your life.

This is how bad it has gotten: I called my own office the other day to talk to the guy running my company.

A human being didn’t answer. We, too, now have a recorded message and a menu to click!

If I had a grave to roll over in, I’d have done it.

Buying something online isn’t much better. First you need your username and password.

I have to tell you folks, I am extremely password-challenged. I can’t remember passwords and usually forget where I put the piece of paper I wrote the password on. Then, when I click “forgot password,” I’m informed that my username is somehow incorrect, sending me back for another round of password bingo.

And don’t you just love two-factor authentication?

You think you want to park your car or watch a ballgame. Instead:

Download the app.

Create an account.

Invent another password.

Check your email. Type it in twice, just so it can tell you the two don’t match.

Enter the six-digit security code.

Accept seventeen pages of terms and conditions.

GRRR.

I JUST WANT TO PARK THE #@&%&^$ CAR!

Businesses have transferred labor from themselves to their customers.

It is becoming a rarity to actually receive customer service anymore. Worse, if something goes wrong with the transaction, you’re expected to solve that yourself.

Technology was supposed to save us time. Maybe it does somewhere, for somebody.

But at nearly seventy years old, I have become increasingly protective of my hours. I don’t particularly want to spend one of them downloading an app, creating an account, inventing another password and proving my identity just so I can give somebody my money.

If technology is saving anybody time, I’m pretty damn sure it isn’t me.