As many of those who read my columns and short stories know, I’m a classic rock junkie. I can’t help myself. I’m a walking encyclopedia on rock music trivia. That information and six bucks will get you a Venti latte at Starbucks.

Have you ever wondered what the reason behind some of those crazy names of bands might be. Well, I do, and thought I might impart some wisdom to you on the subject. After reading this, make a copy and take it to Starbucks to see if they will give you a discount. Tell them where you got the information.

We’ll start with the 500 lb. gorilla, the Beatles who were originally called the Quarrymen. Cynthia Lennon, John’s first wife, (the one he should have stayed with) states that in a drunken brawl, the Fab Four was inspired by the name Buddy Holly and the Crickets. Buddy had his Crickets so the Liverpool bunch decided on the Beatles. I guess that make sense?

Surely everyone knows that the name Lynyrd Skynyrd of Free Bird fame was named after their gym teacher in Jacksonville Florida. He was the basketball coach and hated rock music. They were originally known as My Back Yard so Skynyrd was definitely a step up.

Have you ever heard of the Marshall Tucker Band, who sang “Can’t You See,” which was downloaded 226 million times on Spotify. I’m sure most of you have, but did you know there has never been a band member by the name of Marshall Tucker. They took the name from a piano tuner from Spartanburg SC.

How about the Allman Brothers instrumental ballad, “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed.” Heard of it? It’s been downloaded 11 million times, so somebody’s heard it. The thing is, nobody in the Allman Brothers Band knew Ms. Reed. She passed away in 1935 and is buried in Macon GA. Dickie Betts wrote the song while sitting in a cemetery in Macon where he spotted her tombstone.

There is no place or business named Grandfunk Railroad. There is, however, a Grand Trunk Western Railroad that run through Flint Michigan where the writer and manager of the band, Terry Moore, was from.

This one might be a little more obscure but for any of you that are familiar with the band Black Oak Arkansas, know that there is a town called Black Oak in Arkansas. Actually, there are three of them! But Jim Dandy and his mates did come from one of them. Here’s another tidbit I give you free that has little to do with music – the great writer, John Grisham, actually went to first grade in Black Oak.

The Grateful Dead initially went by the name The Warlocks until they found out there was another band by the same name. So, they met to discuss a different name. Jerry Garcia stuck his finger in a book of Funk and Wagnalls Folklore during a game of Fictionary, and it landed on the Grateful Dead.

Similarly random, Deep Purple band members were trying to come up with a cool name and were making a list. Seems they didn’t like their original name of Roundabout. They were leaning toward Orpheus, although Concrete God and Sugarlump were high on the list. The next morning, they were again looking at the list and saw a new name had been entered – Deep Purple. Come to find out, it was band member Ritchie Blackmore who put it there as it was his grandmothers favorite song, written by Peter DeRose all the way back in 1933. The band liked it and kept it.  

There is also an interesting note about DP’s most famous song, Smoke On the Water, downloaded over 547 million time. In 1971 Frank Zappa was playing at the Montreux Casino in Switzerland when the venue caught on fire. Some joker had fired a flare up to the ceiling. The band watched the fire from a restaurant by Lake Geneva. While there, bassist Roger Glover was inspired to write the song.  

Credence Clearwater Revival’s name was odd at best. Originally the band was called the Blue Velvets, then later the Golliwogs. CCR is composed of three unrelated words. Credence was the name of Credence Newball, a friend of drummer Tom Fogerty. Clearwater was from a beer commercial advertising Olympia beet. Revival was the revival of rock music after Vietnam War. Kind of uninspiring names from a band that made so many hits.

Lots of bands used the names of their favorite blues players. Pink Floyd’s name was derived by original band member, Syd Barrett, favorite blues players, Pink Anderson and Floyd Council. Kind of a bummer. I am so glad they didn’t go with Anderson Council.

ZZ Topp was similarly named for the initials of band founder Billy Gibbons’ favorite bluesmen from Texas. OV Wright, DC Bender and BB King names all got his fancy so he decided on ZZ, and the Top was because BB King was on the top of his list.

Jefferson Airplane may have come from Blind Lemon Jefferson, although in hippie parlance a Jefferson Airplane is also a slang for an improvised roach clip. Bummer again. Never heard of it.

Even the Rolling Stones name was blues based. Originally the Blues Boys, the story goes that a reporter asked band member Brian Jones for their name. Brian looked around the room and saw a Muddy Waters record with the song Rollin’ Stone. He blurted that name to the report and the rest was history as they say.  

Bad Company had no prior name as the members all came from established bands. Paul Rodgers and Simon Kirke were in the band, Free (Alright now…), Boz Burell in King Crimson, and Mick Ralphs in Mott the Hoople. Rodgers claims he named the band from a book of Victorian morals showing an unsavory character leaning against a lamppost.  

Black Sabbath, originally named The Polka Tulk Blues Band – I kid you not – was eventually named after a 1963 horror movie starring Boris Karloff. Somebody should tell Ozzie he missed out on a Karloff movie by the name of the Walking Dead, so appropriate today for movies, TV shows, and liberals.  

Originally called the Herd, Buffalo Springfield was named for an asphalt roller the members saw in a parking lot. And these were the guys that would go on to form Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young?

Any Hootie and the Blowfish fans? Well, Darius Rucker is not Hootie and the band wasn’t a blowfish. The name came from two of Rucker’s college buddies, one with an owl-like face (Hootie) and another with puffy cheeks. This is just dumb.

I was disappointed to find out the band Procol Harum, originally known as the Paramount’s, got their name from the pedigree of a cat. Seriously, a band with the great Gary Booker and Robin Trower allowed to be named after a cat. Our cat named Rizzo has more flash.  

Here’s a name one can really sink their teeth into, Champaign Illinois’ own REO Speedwagon. I really like this name. REO Speedwagon was the name of a truck manufacturer form Lansing Michigan. REO is the initials of Ransom Ely Olds who founded REO in 1905. Keep Pushin.’

Three Dog Night wanted a name that showed the band had three singers. A girlfriend thought of the Australian aborigines who would keep their dogs beside them when they slept for the heat. A particularly cold night was called a three dog night. Now explain Jeremiah being a bullfrog.

Spice, later named Uriah Heep, produced one of the greatest albums in rock history with Demons and Wizards based their moniker on an obscure Charles Dickens character in David Copperfield. Heep was an accountant.  

Mott the Hoople, one of the great band names came from the title of a novel by Willar Manus. The main character was named Norman Mott, and the word Hoople is a slang word for a ne’er-do-well (slacker). Their name prior to Mott was the Doc Thomas Group. Huh!

Jethro Tull, one of my favorite bands, went by several names in order to get their foot in the door at various clubs. There was names like Navy Blue, Ian Henderson’s Bag o’ Nails, and Candy Colored Rain. Jethro Tull, the person, was an 18^th century agriculturist. Jethro Tull the band name came from a booking agent who was a history buff and the name stuck after they got invited back to a club.

This last classic rock band name comes as no surprise as I can relate to it. The Who, originally called The Detours (huh?) was named because the band members were hard of hearing from loud music and they kept asking people, “The who?”

The various generations coming after 1975 who came up with such crappy music as punk, disco, rap, hip-hop, and their enemy, death metal rock, but had some interesting names. I really had no interest in going back through their history as in general, the music is not that good. As examples of names, not musical quality, I give you:

30 Odd Foot of Grunts / Archers of Loaf / Bowling for Soup / Faster Pussycat / Hoobastank / King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard / Toad the Wet Sprocket / Panic! At the Disco / Death

You should see how many times their songs have been downloaded – most put my classic rockers to shame.  And I haven’t mentioned today’s biggest acts like some girl named Taylor Swift, or Drake, or Ed Sheeran or something called Bad Bunny who I contend makes Bad Music.

Punk gave us some interesting names as well – Dead Kennedy’s, Sex Pistols, Circle Jerks, Suicidal Tendencies, Stooges, The Cramps, Germs, Dead Milkmen, Bikini Kill, and Rich Kids on LSD.

For some reason I decided to listen to Toad the Wet Sprocket on Spotify. I have no idea why, and I can’t say it is bad music. Some songs are actually good. Trying my luck one more time I tried Panic! At the Disco. I should have known not to stretch my luck.

Although this story required a lot of research, it was fun. I hope you had as much fun reading it.

Oh, by the way, Toad the Wet Sprocket got its name off of a Monty Python skit written by Eric Idle. He thought it to be the stupidest band name that nobody would ever use.