On the first day of Christmas

Dispatch gave to me…

A load for Hackensack New Jersey.

On the second day of Christmas

An angry mom gave to me…

Two middle fingers,

On my load to Hackensack New Jersey.

On the third day of Christmas

 The police gave to me…

Three violations,

Two warning tickets,

Just outside of Hackensack New Jersey.

On the fourth day of Christmas

My Kenworth gave to me…

Four codes de-rating,

Three hour towing,

Two low tires,

On my way to Hackensack New Jersey.

On the fifth day of Christmas

A mechanic sold to me,

F-I-V-E …brand…new sensors,

Four replacement ‘jectors,

Three new tires,

Two days later,

At a garage in Hackensack New Jersey.

On the sixth day of Christmas

The receivers dock gave to me,

Six hours waiting,

F-i-v-e…disgusted…looks,

Four lumpers loafing,

Three untimely pauses,

Two bathroom breaks,

At a dock in Hackensack New Jersey.

On the seventh day of Christmas

My true love gave to me,

Seven minutes’ bitching,

Six minutes groveling,

F-i-v-e …overdue…bills.

Four bad grades on junior,

Three reports on sissy,

And two ultimatums,

While sitting in Hackensack New Jersey.

On the eighth day of Christmas

My dispatch gave to me,

Eight promised reloads,

Seven phone calls,

Six times on hold,

F-i-v-e …long… hours later,

Four minutes for load,

Three miles away,

Two hours late,

From traffic in Hackensack New Jersey.

On the ninth day of Christmas

My dispatch gave to me,

Ten PM new appointment,

Eight hours truckstop sitting,

Seven hours’ boredom,

Six dollars left in wallet,

Five… bad-mannered …servers,

Four shower weirdo’s,

Three fast food burgers,

Two bouts of heartburn,

Still waiting in Hackensack New Jersey.

On the tenth day of Christmas

Dispatch gave to me,

Ten ways to scale freight!

Nine fifth wheel placements,

Eight scale trips later,

Seven hundred pounds over,

Six pallets re-stacking,

F-i-v-e …hours…lifting,

Four helping kids,

Three hundred under,

Two back cramps later,

Loading in Hackensack New Jersey.

On the eleventh day of Christmas

The truck gods gave to me,

Eleven hour delivery,

Ten logbook hours,

Nine hundred miles’ travel,

Eight scales avoiding,

Seven inches snowing,

Six trucker’s yakking,

F-i-v-e… satellite…messages,

Four routed detours,

Three traffic jams,

Two stops to deliver,

Leaving from Hackensack New Jersey.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

I did all this just for me,

Twelve hours straight driving,

Eleven minutes unloading,

Ten miles next stop,

Nine minutes’ load tossing,

Eight miles to Wal Mart,

Seven minutes for parking,

Six minute walk ,

F-i-v-e …hundred…shoppers,

Four presents bought,

Three credit cards maxed,

Two hours home,

And slapping dispatch for Hackensack New Jersey!